Teachers
Season 3
2003 • 13 Episodes
With Simon gone, Brian and Kurt turn to his replacement for advice—the suave and morally-flexible Matt. But married Matt is much more interested in his own affairs, and it falls upon new biology teacher Lindsay to help them out. Lindsay’s funny, frank, down-to-earth and, most importantly, she’s fat—an essential safety feature for an agony aunt that ensures Brian and Kurt won’t end up fancying her. Probably.
Episodes
1. Episode One
August 6, 2003
A new term and a new teacher, in the (rather large) shape of Lindsay. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she’s brilliant, until Kurt convinces him that she fancies him.
2. Episode Two
August 13, 2003
Penny’s self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she’s driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.
3. Episode Three
August 20, 2003
Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents’ evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual, however, his judgement in these matters isn’t perfect.
4. Episode Four
August 27, 2003
Bobs wife throws him out of the house and moves her boyfriend in. For the first time, Liz takes pity on this dishevelled wreck. But a combination of pity and alcohol can have surprising results.
5. Episode Five
September 3, 2003
Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What’s the best way to handle being 30? Grow old with grace and start acting your age, or the exact opposite?
6. Episode Six
September 10, 2003
Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns them all a stress partner, which proves very stressful.
7. Episode Seven
September 17, 2003
There’s something disturbing in the air. A stranger, with a sinister beard, is lurking by the perimeter fence. But it turns out that he’s not so strange after all.
8. Episode Eight
September 24, 2003
The English department are left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that, whether he likes it or not, Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bobs replacement.
9. Episode Nine
October 1, 2003
The teachers are depressed that none of them is in a functional relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married. But Brian thinks that Kurt is taking advantage of him.
10. Episode Ten
October 8, 2003
Students and parents have been complaining about Lindsay, and she’s ended up with a formal warning. So she’s going to transform herself into ‘super-teacher’, with help from an unlikely guru: Bob.
11. Episode Eleven
October 15, 2003
Brians obsessed with Eileen—the only good-looking dinner lady in the world—and when Bob starts complaining loudly about the canteen food, Brian has to stand up for his dream woman.
12. Episode Twelve
October 22, 2003
When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt’s desire to win results in injury. Brian’s attempts to administer first aid only serve to make things worse and Kurt ends up in a wheelchair.
13. Episode Thirteen
October 29, 2003
Love, lust, and general weirdness are in the air. Penny’s started a new romance, Clare’s getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging.