The New Statesman

January 6, 1991

A new MP threatens Alan's status as the most right-wing member of Commons.

January 13, 1991

Alan tries to help the Labour party win the next election so he can blame them for the impending oil shortage.

January 20, 1991

Alan upsets animal rights activists. A old friend wants a birthday ""cake"" from Alan.

January 27, 1991

Alan's mum visits and threatens to stay forever unless Alan repeals his new bill abolishing social security.

February 4, 1991

At his annual cocktail party, Alan upsets a local VIP who threatens to take over his seat in the House.

February 11, 1991

MI5 and the KGB ask Alan to start a new cold war because they no longer have anyone to spy on.